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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Guess what!?! I'm old

I hate being old. I don't feel old (well except my shoulder) and I don't act old and I certainly don't think old. But, to you youngins out there, I'm old. This my friends, is my year. It's my video, my song, my year. Thunderkiss this ass mofos!

Hell in a hand-basket

My life has gone to hell in a hand-basket lately. I've never understood what that phrase means, but I feel like I'm in a tiny compartment of hell, so I'll go with hit.

I've never been one to allow water to roll off my back. Water somehow rolls into the dips between my shoulders and neck and forms a deep and lasting gouge that weighs me down literally and figuratively. This being down crap has to stop.

How I wish I could meditate or do some functional form of exercise to release stress. It's just not me. It never has been and I don't think at this point in my life that is likely to change.

One of my bosses recommended some courses on Science of the Mind. If you get too wrapped up in it, you'll see a lot of stuff about God, which can be off-putting. However, it is believed that the purpose is to wrap up "universe" and "life" and "creation" under the term God, so I'm better able to work with the ideas. A trinity of spirit (cause), soul (medium) and body (effect).

Will reading any of this do me any good? Will knowing I do not have the power to control what will be but only my reactions to what have been caused help me out of this rut? Only time will tell, but I'm willing to make the time, for now, to see if miracles can truly happen. To stop the anxiety and worry and self-flagellation will truly require one.